A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen #Other #Journalists
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen #Other #Journalists
Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.
Fred Allen #Other #Journalists
An income tax form is like a laundry list -- either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen #Other #Journalists
California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen #Other #Journalists
Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen #Other #Journalists
Do we really deserve top billing?
Fred Allen #Other #Journalists
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.
Fred Allen #Other #Journalists
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns he should be drawn and quoted.
Fred Allen #Other #Journalists
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
Fred Allen #Other #Journalists